Tuesday, 10 February 2015

Coping With Exam Stress

By Heddy Smith, counsellor and psychotherapist.
Principal Instructor for Standing Tall UK.

After the holidays many students go back to school knowing that exams, tests or a heavy academic workload are ahead of them in the spring term.  Managing stress levels is a challenge for most adults but wisdom, self-awareness and experience can help keep it at bay. So how well do students know themselves in the ever-changing decade of teenage years and how do they learn to manage their nervous responses in this pressurised term?

Heightened levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) are released when one perceives a difficult challenge ahead. Its use in the short term can be of benefit to motivate and sharpen the mind to deal with the exam, but all too often cortisol is present for weeks beforehand. Sadly our nervous system cannot identify the difference between a mortal physical threat and exams, plus if it is present for too long it can create a negative effect on the body and mind.

Students trying to study can find that they are now hampered by stress. Symptoms include: difficulty sleeping, constant tiredness, forgetfulness, lack of concentration, a feeling of anxiety and irritability, excessive worry, increased heart rate, poor appetite, muscular aches and pains, waves of panic, listlessness, loss of interest in activities, low self- esteem, heightened general fear, feeling isolated, high reactions to emotions, despair and tearfulness.

Groups of students often project or transfer stress within the group, nature’s way of using body language to warn the group of a threat or danger. This can be difficult for any one student who cannot understand why they are feeling stress, as they know they are prepared for the exams. The group around them has now inadvertently triggered their nervous system to respond, causing the above negative effects.

Understanding how their body reacts to stress and how in a group students can begin to lower the cortisol levels is an essential part of the management of stress. Learning healthy coping strategies, accepting the pattern of our stress hormones and having the confidence to know that they can gain back control is key to harnessing the ability to manage stress before it can manifest into young people finding ways of coping that are not healthy and sometimes addictive.


Learning to manage and understand stress is a life long learning experience, so now is the best time to start.  Knowing that stress is natural and that you can learn to manage it is a relief to many. With understanding, practise and awareness it can become our friend and ally in the face of a challenge and when the challenge has passed, self esteem and pride can be found in its wake.

Wednesday, 23 April 2014

How to Build Confidence

Very few people succeed without a degree of confidence. Yet everyone, from young people in their first real jobs to seasoned leaders in the upper ranks of organizations, have moments or days, months, or even years when they are unsure of their ability to tackle challenges. No one is immune to these bouts of insecurity, but they don’t have to hold you back.

Preparation
Your piano teacher was right: practice does make perfect - a way to build confidence in any given area is to invest energy in it and work hard at it. Many people give up when they think they’re not good at a particular job or task, assuming the exertion is fruitless but deliberate practice will almost always trump natural aptitude. If you are unsure about your ability to do something such as speaking in front of a large audience or negotiating with a tough customer - start by trying out the skills in a safe setting. Practice can be very useful, and is highly recommended because in addition to building confidence, it also tends to improve quality. Actually deliver the big presentation more than once before the due date. Even people who are confident in their abilities can become more so with better preparation.
Get out of your own way
Confident people aren’t only willing to practice, they’re also willing to acknowledge that they don’t and can’t know everything. It’s better to acknowledge when you need help, than not, a certain degree of confidence - specifically, confidence in your ability to learn - is required to be willing to admit that you need guidance or support. On the flip side, don’t let modesty hold you back. People often get too wrapped up in what others will think to focus on what they have to offer. When you realize your value to others, confidence is no longer the right word. It’s now about purpose. Instead of agonizing about what others might think of you or your work, concentrate on the unique perspective you bring.
Get feedback when you need it
While you don’t want to completely rely on others’ opinions, validation can also be very effective in building confidence. Try asking someone who cares about your development as well as the quality of your performance to tell you what they think. Be sure to pick people whose feedback will be entirely truthful and delivered in a positive way.  However, when performance appraisals are only positive, we stop trusting them so listen and acknowledge any areas to improve.
Take risks
Playing to your strengths is a smart tactic but not if it means you hesitate to take on new challenges. Many people don’t know what they are capable of until they are truly tested - try things you don’t think you can do. Failure can be very useful for building confidence; of course, this is often easier said than done. It can feel bad to not be good at something and there is a leap of faith involved with getting better at anything - don’t assume you should feel good all the time. In fact, feeling moderate stress is the only way to grow. Enlisting help from others can make this easier as you explore the area past your current ability.
Principles to Remember
Do:
·         Be honest with yourself about what you know and what you still need to learn
·         Practice doing the things you are unsure about
·         Embrace new opportunities to prove you can do difficult things
Don’t:
·         Focus excessively on whether you do or do not have the ability – think instead about the value you provide
·         Hesitate to ask for external validation if you need it